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Hand Over your Heart

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

goodwill hunting

yesterday... I left work for a bit. I forget that I am entiltled to a lunch break at times.. and work has been so slow.
The kind of slow that aches in our bones slooooowwwwww.

So I went hunting at the goodwill. I always find lil' treasure there ... like old discarded canvasas that would cost me 30 bucks at the store when I can just gesso over them. Or awesome frames, great old vintage books and so on and so on.
Yesterday I ran into a scrap book.
and I was so sad to see it was filled up.. every single page with this young girls life.
her boyfriend, her mother, her friends, tickets to a concert.....

I wonder if she threw it out on purpose.
I wonder if she's still looking for it to this day.
I wonder if she died....
I wonder if she was so fed up with that time in her life that she created that ... that the act of throwing that out propelled her into a new state of being... into a healthier happier life.

I would like to think the latter.

What I need to discard is simple.
Self hatred.
And so today I put on that summer dress that I NEVER wear because it makes me look like I'm pregnant so my hate for myself says....
and I am wearing it beautifully and proudly.


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