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Hand Over your Heart

Friday, January 20, 2012

So she bought only one gallon of milk...

I was in the grocery store last night, after a hellish day week at work and I grabbed a gallon of milk and put it in the cart.

Time stood still at that exact moment.
I live my life in these sequences of things that :
A) Are happening to others that I witness and feel as if they are happening to me
B) Are happening around me, are about me and I am overwhelmed with emotion
C) Are happening right AT me, and there is no escape

This moment was a combo platter of B and C.
In this very moment I realized that I have never bought just one gallon of milk.
ALways ...always since the beginning of time have I bought two...
two children, two gallons of milk.
One very hungry all the time teenage boy....two gallons of milk and sister MIGHT get 1 bowl of cereal if she's lucky.
Boy=not home=1 gallon of milk.

Me=instant tears.
Yes. In the milk section of the local VONS. Tears.
And then to add extra spice to my life at this very moment I start to remember that I have been coming to this VERY Vons since that teenager who no longer lives with me was 2.

Deep breath.

So I blink blink blinked the tears away...and smiled a bit to myself- in realizing that I am truly a unique person that can find some kind of poetry in any given situation...some kind of melodrama...some kind of "it all comes around and we are just dust in the wind" kinda scenarios in any place. Like my local grocery store. Buying freaking milk. 1 gallon mind you.

Good grief.

Told this story to a few guys. Nothing.
Told this story to my coworker Sara= instant tears.

I love us woman. I love us so much...we are So amazing with feeling. It's instant, it's raw, it's real. And I feel like more and more we aren't apologizing for it.
And we shouldn't.
I mean who the hell is going to feel all these things, heal all these things and put them back into the heart space of the world?

So she bought only one gallon of milk... cried a little. died a little...and went to the check out stand.


  1. oh ms kitty. you are so beautifully gorgeously poignant. quoted you on fb. thank you for sharing your tears, your voice, your wisdom. sigh. fabulous!