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Hand Over your Heart

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I'm an April Fool for you...

Audrey Elizabeth died at 10:01 p.m.. 8 years ago.
April Fools.
The nurses were nice enough to unhook her...nice enough to move out most furniture so that all family and friends could stand and bare witness to her passing.
I've never experienced so much magic as that night.

She took
breaths and she left this world... only to meet, I'm sure, Her Creator in a heavenly bliss and a chorus of angels singing her in.
And at that moment I wanted to go with her.

8 years later, I enjoy talking about her.
I enjoy believing in the notion that somehow The Creator chose me...to care for an Angel...
a bit of a foreign exchange student of the Celestial High.
She truly saved all aspects of me.
She truly opened my eyes to the aspects of others.
She made my heart expand & beam.

Dear Audrey,
It's mama... I feel you all around me. You are home and I am grateful. What I wouldn't give for one more lullaby. What I wouldn't give to make you smile again.
What I wouldn't give to feel your precious body against mine.. as I breathed all my wishes, hopes, my despairs, my tears into that perfectly crooked little ear.
My Hewdie Dewdie.
Mama Loves you...

Growing through grief is torture. Yet I for one am thankful.


  1. What a gift she must have been, and what a lovely remembrance. Love to you, Kitty.

  2. Wow. Just wow. Amazing post, amazing spread for an amazing love. Thank you for sharing, Sister.

  3. Wonderful words and lots of love!

  4. Kitty - Thank you so much for sharing this. I am in tears right now because I had a very similar experience holding my beautiful 19 year old daughter as she died of cancer. Time never takes away all of the pain, but you are so correct - we are better people because having these children in our lives was so special. I hope that someway, somehow, my angel Maureen Rose can meet and hug your angel Audrey. I am grateful for the "torture" too - no better learning experience can give us that perspective.

    1. Maryann... thank you for sharing this with me...we are sisters in this "torture"... many blessings to you my friend again thank you for taking the time to comment.. means the world to me

  5. Such a beautiful tribute. I'm so glad you feel your precious daughter around you and that brings you comfort. xx

  6. reading this gave me goosebumps.... I am sure she is always there....

    love, Monika