<> Journal Entry today I wrote<>

I think staying in the flow of creativity is Hope. It's a steady stream of hope. It is a trust fall of sorts. It's a shedding of the skin down to the star dust of our sacred selves and setting fire hope.

At least that is what I envision hope.

Not just the word slapped on shabby chic wood signs in every boutique downtown, but an actual spirit in things. It's got me through many a dark and stormy lone wolf night.

It carries me through on its Bison Back today.

I journeyed with Pixie Lighthorse today in our first meeting of Sisters on a Journey 2016

I was hoping to share the Journey here but it was deeply personal and something that I will have to keep going back to in the weeks to come to suck the marrow from, make sure all the medicine is put in my medicine pouch for future journeying!

I am a fortunate daughter of the universe to be with these women at this time and you can join us too at any time.. I hope you do.

This Art Journal page came out after my Journey work... actually about 4-5 pages came out and I will be working on those in the month to follow until we all meet again next month. All Love <3

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Follow me on instagram @kitty_o_hello 

Reflections: Fear

So I was thinking about my 5 year old self and what it was that she wanted.

She wanted to not be scared.

Isn't it amazing how fear can permeate into your very core at such a young age?
Isn't it the saddest thing to behold...a child that is scared?
I have been slowly, surely and indefinitely challenging myself to do things that scare me.
Traveling by myself. Air planes. Saying yes to being published in an upcoming book. Saying yes to teaching online courses. Saying yes to the life I WANT.
SCARY!

What if I changed the story a bit.
What if.... just if.... my 5 year old self wanted the fear to transform her life in just such a way?
Who would I be without the fear?

In the dark we appreciate the light...right? And in the light it illuminates the dark spaces and corners of our mind and our sacred hearts..where we once thought were monsters- are actually just pillars of strength that we've surrounded ourselves with.
What a relief.
Always such clarity in the dawn of things.
Always such beauty in that soft light.

I encourage you to look at what scares you. Relate to it. Talk to it. Make friends with it and let it do what it's soul purpose is.
To Transform you.
And that is all.

So I was thinking....maybe...just maybe...my 5 year old self is safe at last.

Be good to yourselves Lion Hearts.
Look at you go! 

Awakening to Your Divine Self

Wisdom and Love from your Fearless Sisters

:: Oracle Deck ::

44 card deck of original art from around the world!

Acceptance, trust, bravery...power. These are some of the words of intention for your beautiful life. This Oracle Deck is made up of 39 artists from around the world of original art just for you. 

I am fortunate to be apart of this amazing group of heart centered women. 

Secure your deck today!

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It is my INTENTION to spread the joy of acceptance in your life. 

It is my INTENTION to remind you of your gifts in your life

It is my INTENTION to come to peace about all shame in your life

It is my INTENTION to come from a place that is completely truth and heart centered and offer my card of 

INTENTION 

Use these cards for creativity

Use these cards for clarity

Use these cards for powerful messages during mediation

Use these cards for readings for others

It is our hope that you will use these cards in pure love awakening to the true self.

These are a powerful, inspiring group of women and I just know this you will fall in love with this deck!

COPY PASTE BELOW AND EMAIL ME AT

HANDOVERHEARTSTUDIOS@GMAIL.COM

{copy/paste in email}

NAME:

ADDY:

HOW MANY DECKS:

{yes or no}

PAYING WITH PAYPAL:

MAILING CHECK:

I UNDERSTAND ESTIMATED DELIVERY IS EARLY DECEMBER:

I HAVE SHARED YOUR LINK:

INTERESTED IN A GIVEAWAY:

{thank you so much everyone I am over the moon excited to share this with you}

SOUL FOOD ~ What nourishes your {creative} SOUL?

It's here sound the trumpets and eat some .... CRUMPETS!! What? Annoucing

An amazing new art community inspired by juicy 

Art & Nummy Noshings! 

Soul Food is an online community filled to the brim with delectable artful delights....oh and food too squee!

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amaz-za-Z I N G artist/foodies to tempt 

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What more can you ask for.... art+food= H E A V E N!

I have been asked to teach in this new adventure and I am so very honored !

CLICK HERE AND JOIN US !!!!

CLICK ABOVE TO SEE ARTIST PROFILES!

CLICK HERE TO JOIN US !!!!

And oh what a day it was....  

Beautiful Ojai trip yesterday, the sun was shinning, the water was clear. I made my way down the 101 California Coast with anticipation in my heart, and a belly full of nerves.
Painting. With others. Whom I don't know. Painting from The Source. What an adventure.
I left early, hoping to get a jump on the day, to be able to have a moment to ground my self before entering the studio. However life happened, I got a tummy ache, I took a wrong turn. I was not "late" but I was not "early" as I wanted... I like to be early. I like to watch others walk in, not the other way around.
I got there, right at 10:00. Everyone else was there but me. Instant panic. Instant discomfort. Instant urge to flee. I was greeted by a small woman with a beautiful accented voice who directed me to the room to place my things. I then made my way back into the Studio/Living Room of Aviva Gold, my "mid-wife" for the day. What a gorgeous human being. The living room was chock full of affirmations everywhere I looked. STAY ON YOUR EDGE. STAY IN THE PROCESS.
We were all there. We were all unsure, we were all a bit awkward, but we were all there for the same thing.... To Paint. To Heal. To faciliate. To Witness.

The day went quickly, I felt waves and waves of emotion, as I usually do in a group setting, picking up on others emotions, insecurities, anger, discomfort.
I went through waves of nausea, headache, fatigue and severe bladder and lower back aches.
I stayed with the process, stepping back every so often to look at my painting, to listen to her...to understand her needs, her desires, her Lion Heart.
I painted an owl woman, a bird, flowers, sky, and a huge face with blood dripping from her lips..it was scary, it disturbed me a bit...but I felt at ease. I felt a deep connection to the imagery. I fell in love with her. I stayed on MY EDGE, by pushing through the embodiment of the painting, a ritual type of practice that yields the paintings energy through your body. It was prophetic. It was terrifying. It was sacred. It was necessary.
I left feeling a sense of gratitude. I left with a bigger sense of self. I left with new air in my lungs.
I left without my painting.

ouch.

And as I drove away the headache that I no longer endured hit my like a ton truck. Full fledge migraine headache with the dry heaves. I had to pull over 4 times on the freeway, to rest...to cry....to close my eyes from the pain. I had to eventually call my husband to come and get me...as I could not drive any longer. Half way through this horrible trip home I realized I had left her...and I immediately thought...THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SICK!
It's Okay...I left it for a reason. I left it because I need to return to Ojai...I need to stay on my edge. I will see her again, and when I do it will be a lovely reunion. Together again in Beautiful Sacred Ojai with Aviva again as my mid-wife.

Thank you to all who witnessed my breakthroughs, my triumphs and for seeing Me. As Me.Lion Hearts Stay on your Edge. Stay in the Process. Find your Sacred Ojai!!

And she said.. "Ditto".

Taking a break in the studio from the 3 paintings I am currently trying to finish.
I have creative attention deficit disorder.  Thank The Stars for Mixed Media !
I started a clay doll.

This is Ditto. I made her.

She wasn't turning out so good.
I added paper clay.
I took away.
I molded.
I sculpted.
I thought about trashing her.
Couldn't do it.
Tried to do limbs.
Couldn't do that either.

Then I surrendered and remembered that she was just a paper clay doll... FOR ME.
Oh. Breathing room. Deep breath, that's nice.

I tore off her limbs.
I made her base thick & sturdy.
And then, before I knew what was happening in between dipping fingers into the water, grabbing a clump of paper clay and molding...

she  sprouted W I N G S.

Glorious funky, clumpy, lumpy, bumpy haphazard, imperfect, small wings.
I immediately fell in love with her.
And of course, what naturally came next...

I gave her a Lion H E A R T.

I've captured her, in the moment of growing her wings.
And as I painted her tonight, first giving her a coat of Gesso, I poured out love for her, in her imperfect state, and I told her not to compare herself to others, for she's one of a kind, never to be duplicated.
I told her to see, look, feel, fly with her Lion Heart.

And she said, "Ditto".

How are you taking care of your lumpy, bumpy, imperfect parts today? This minute? This Hour? This Day? This Week? This Year?

Come on Lion Heart, it's time for some {ACCEPT}tional self care....!

TRUST F A L L .....

I am in love.

Orginal Art work by Kitty Oppegard: FOR SALE @ ETSY SHOPPE 

I have fallen deeply, beautifully, sacredly in love.
Know what with?
My Heart and all its inglorious glory.
My heart that never fails me, in keeping blood pumping through this {ACCEPT}tional body (in AS IS condition) and in Matters of the Heart... mmmm myyyy speciality.

This Fall/Equinox/Mabon I am incredibly in love with the colors,sights, smells, sounds of this amazing season. It yields a sense of connectedness within me. I can feel it weaving around my heart urging me to look inwards, reflect and review. It whispers to FALL into love with what you are, what you have, what you've failed at, what you've accomplished. It echos the childhood laughter in me, the reckless abandon in me, the Lion Heart that pulses true.

TRUST FALL.

Trust fall right into my life, right into my heart, right into the core of what makes me... ME.
And as I fall there are the seeds of my existence.
God, earth, wind, fire, air, paint in my hair.... aching in my bones and in my chest...and it's all alright.. it's all the stuff, the juicy stuff of this life. It's all ugly, sad and beautiful and STARK raving mad!
I'm falling right into it. I am falling right into L O V E with my life.

I invite you to your own trust fall, right into your sacred heart, right into your LION HEART.

DID IT RESONATE? WONT YOU GIVE ME A FACEBOOK LIKE :)

Embrace the Messy

Life is messy. Much like any art form. There is a period in the process of completion that there is an inevitable veriable. Mess.

I used to get caught up in this. Cleaning as I go. I mean this literally and figuratively.
I have learned in my latter 30s that the mess... IS... life. It's the process. You've heard this expression right? "It's about the process.. not the end result".

It's not about the completion. At the completion of life is death. My truth in death there is a rebirth in a sense back to your original form, your soul.
However at the completion of any form of Art.. there is a sense of gratification, a sense of accomplishment, a sense of wonder.. "how did I get through that"..."how did I weed through that mess and come up with this masterpiece".
It is my truth that at the end of life.. it is the same celebration.

Wow. How exciting that we are here in human form to work on our dream.. on our masterpiece..and our art is our life.. how we live our life!
I find great comfort in this, as I've really been working on celebrating even the small things.
Like getting outta bed in the morning and not cursing that I have to go to work .. ( you feel me?)
Like choosing BODY ACCEPTANCE instead of telling myself that I will do that, wear that, say that, experience that, eat that..when I am "skinny again".
Like choosing to put myself out there with my thoughts, art, love, light with NO angle. No sense of "what will I get outta this".. "whats in this for me".
Just being big, beautiful, glittery, me...Kitty, Kristy, Kristina, Mom, Wife=Babe, Sister, Friend.

I am filled suddenly typing this with a sense of gratitude and solace. What an amazingly blessed feeling that has washed over me. I am grateful and I believe absolutely hands down blessed beyond my wildest dreams, for what I have in this very moment. Now. and Now. and again.....Now.
HAPPY TEARS FOR THIS LION HEART!

I invite you to mull this over. Put in your favorite inspiring song and just think on your life. REALLY look at the messy parts. Ew. It's ugly isn't it? It's beautiful...isn't it?
Now look where you are right now. Literally right now..sitting where you are.  You are so beautiful... look at you with all your bumps and scars and bruises. Look at you with that smile spreading, those tears welling.
Oh my heart !!!   It's over flowing with how stunning you are.
Take this truth if it serves you and put it into the weakest part of your heart and let it bloom.

You are loved. You ARE love. Go live your messy life Lion Hearts <3


Gift for You:

The Eternal Optimist from WriteAboutMaps on 8tracks Radio.

LION HEARTS I LOVE YOU!

♡CLASSES I'm Taking: AROUSE

 ♡CLASSES I'm Teaching:  ALTERED BOOKS

With Gratitude ...

Thank you so much to Hali for the opportunity to share my heart with everyone... Women, you inspire me, you are the pure definition of beauty. Thank you, thank you for holding on, pushing through, overcoming, creating.. in doing this, my amazing sisters, you lift us all out of the dark and into the light..where we belong. Steadfast with your Lion Hearts... onward and upwards. With gratitude, I am a grateful child of this Universe. 

ARTIST HEALER SPOTLIGHT SERIES- KITTY OPPEGARD /HANDOVERHEART STUDIOS

♡CLASSES I'm Taking: AROUSE

 ♡CLASSES I'm Teaching:  ALTERED BOOKS

I'm an April Fool for you...

Audrey Elizabeth died at 10:01 p.m.. 8 years ago.
April Fools.
The nurses were nice enough to unhook her...nice enough to move out most furniture so that all family and friends could stand and bare witness to her passing.
I've never experienced so much magic as that night.

She took
1
2
3
breaths and she left this world... only to meet, I'm sure, Her Creator in a heavenly bliss and a chorus of angels singing her in.
And at that moment I wanted to go with her.

8 years later, I enjoy talking about her.
I enjoy believing in the notion that somehow The Creator chose me...to care for an Angel...
a bit of a foreign exchange student of the Celestial High.
She truly saved all aspects of me.
She truly opened my eyes to the aspects of others.
She made my heart expand & beam.


Dear Audrey,
It's mama... I feel you all around me. You are home and I am grateful. What I wouldn't give for one more lullaby. What I wouldn't give to make you smile again.
What I wouldn't give to feel your precious body against mine.. as I breathed all my wishes, hopes, my despairs, my tears into that perfectly crooked little ear.
My Hewdie Dewdie.
Mama Loves you...

Growing through grief is torture. Yet I for one am thankful.

You sure must be strong...

Love such a simple thing that we do... with nothing to prove....
The Shins- Simple Song 

if you haven't heard it. Go. Listen to it. Let it marinate. Listen to it in a loop.
It does the soul good. Seriously. Go.
You're welcome.

This week plagued with 2 major migraines. Not fun. Hubby working out of town. Not fun.
Art journaling. Fun. I think I am .. dare I say.. finding my palette. Finding my "style" my "nitch".
Or not. I dunnow. Why do we have to label things. It's just a necessity really isn't it? To fit it all into organized and neat and easy identifiable containers.

I miss. ALl the time just miss.
I miss my kids being little.
I miss my son walking down the hallway and saying in his funny voice "Hey Mob"...
I miss my daughters crooked little ear and the way she'd yell for me when she was hungry... her fragile little body, constantly in my arms.. she was like an appendage.
Severed.
It's something I am really struggling with.
Trying not to fill the void with food. That was hard to type. I almost wanted to hit the backspace but decided I better leave it.

I have no idea what I will do when Rhiannon moves out.
The thought just crushes me, and leaves me with an icy cold feeling in my chest.
Deep breath. One thing at a time Kitty. Be nice to yourself. Don't overwhelm yourself. Be kind.

Are you being kind to yourself where you are?
WIth the upmost care and attention, love and kid gloves?
I recommend it.
It's highly underrated.

"Don't go thinking you gotta be tuff and play like a stone.. could be that there's nothing else in our lives so critical..as this little home"....
The Shins. Simple Song.
go and have a listen.
and be good to yourself.
right now.
wherever you are.

I hope you ate cake...

You would have been 14 today.

Cake and balloons and candles too.

I don't know if you would have seen the candles. As I never knew if you could actually physically see.

I don't know if you would have heard the birthday song. As I never knew if you could actually hear.

I don't know if you would have liked the taste of the birthday cake... because you only drank pediasure out of a bottle and rice cereal and sweet potatoes...

I miss the smell of sweet potatoes on your little breath.

And oh that crooked little ear.

How I miss whispering songs, love, prayers, gratitude in that little crooked ear of yours.

I hope that you had a big party today.

One that celebrated the life you lived, and the lives that you saved.

You saved this one. No doubt.

And you in turn saved brother and sisters lives too.

Our little Angel on Earth you were.

I hope that you had a big party today.

With balloons that you could see.. in bright colors and streamers.

With candles SO big that you could see...and you blew them out with strong lungs.

Not lungs weak with pneumonia and RSV.

And a back that is not curved at the spine so you can BLOWWWW those candles out and make your wish.

I hope you ate cake, the most delicious cake you've ever tasted...with extra...everything.

With no threat of aspiration... with teeth that do not cause you pain.

And.. I hope you danced. In all glitter.. with your blonde curls bouncing and your huge smile... and that you laughed. You laughed and laughed and laughed.

And you were celebrated. Celebrated for the amazing sacrifice you gave... to save little ol' us.

Happy Birthday Dear Audrey Elizabeth.

Happy Birthday to you.

-Love Mama

2011.. I bid you Ado.

Me!

I have survived. 

This year I saw my son break down and then build himself up through perserverance, strength and love.

He graduated high school.... cut all his hair off... started working and turned 18.

This year I saw my daughter slowly turn from a teenager into an amazing strong, beautiful, caring young woman. She has found ways to overcome sadness and anger from her past, and risen to meet every single challenge put in her path.

This year I grew closer and closer to my best friend and Husband Adam, I watched as he became an amazing pillar of strength and love in our childrens lives, and work hard on improving his ways of living.

I am a blessed woman to live in the same universe with these 3 amazing individuals.

This year.... I died with every heart ache my children endured, cheered with every triumph they achieved and marveled at the level of love that I feel for my husband and him for me.

This year... I said goodbye to a horrifying past... told the truth and set myself and my children free from ever experiencing that level of evil in our lives again.

In the process I gained friends, and a renewed respect in myself.

This year... I painted, I drew, I pasted, I wrote songs, I wrote poetry, I cooked, I baked... I enjoyed

I gained weight, I lost weight, I began at the gym, I stopped at the gym, I made plans, I broke plans, I had goals some achieved others not even close.

This year... I started counseling.This year... I  STOPPED apologizing for being me. Fat. Skinny. Ugly. Pretty. Stopped apologizing. Started loving, Me. In "as is" condition.

2012-- you have big shoes to fill as overall 2011 has been as horrible and as wonderful as years could get.

Here's to living it up, letting it go... finding the peace... and loving unconditionally... yourself included.

I love you all that were apart of this journey this past year. Some, Pillars of strength for years now..and I know years to come, and others were fleeting in to do their magic and have since fleeted out.. all of you from the very bottom of my heart . Thank You.

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Witness

Los Osos Valley Road Sunset 12/29/2011

Tonight driving home from a very productive day at work...a 4 day weekend winking at me...
I was bathed in pink/blue light from the sunset.
That ol' familiar country road ... looked completely like something out of a movie.
And it took a lot of energy not to pull over & just stop and stare.
And I thought afterwards...as I watched the pink turn into orange.....

I should have stopped.

After all how many sunsets will I witness in my life time?
Maybe that was my last.

When I have opportunities. When I have moments that I can spend in awe of greatness.. like an unfolding sunset, I shall take it. Another promise to myself for this year.
Simple. Done.

Me. 2012. Lion Hearted and awed.

Deserving...

there she stood wings spread heart open
d e s e r v i n g ...

What makes one deserving?
Is it a life of hardship...deserving reprieve.
Is it a life of hard work...deserving reward.
Is it a life of sacrifice.....

Oh and we say... well how dare they have ______ or how dare they _____ they don't DESERVE that.
I deserve that more than they do... I .. a/b/c.
Sad to say this is a normal ego centric knee jerk we got going on in our brains at any given time.

Who is deserved?
You are.
I am.
We are.
They are.
She is.
He is.

I deserve the life I have chosen to live. I firmly believe that we are here on this planet because we chose to be here.
I do NOT believe that we are undeserving when we enter this life.
That we are somehow..unclean, undeserving, unworthy.
That is the biggest lie ever told.
Quite the opposite.
We are SO deserving.
And so... you... reading this... remind yourself- daily, weekly, hourly if you must.
That you are deserved.
And smile.

Hold it

my fav xmas decoration

I am surrounded by beauty.
I live on the Central Coast of California...where it's amazing beauty everywhere at all times.
We even kinda get some seasons here ... bonus.
I have massive mountains of moss to the right, the ocean to the left, national parks in my backyard...and LA a few hours south and San Fran <3 my fav a few hours north.

H e a v e n.

And then there is this house.
It's old, it's in serious need of repair...it's dusty and there is mold that I try to keep 1 step ahead of... most of the time failing miserably.
I'm an organized mess, I clean when I am going to have company and I have separate clothes piles.
One clean, One dirty, One not-so-sure.

M e s s.

And then there are the inhabitants of this wreck of a home.

One is so beautiful sometimes I could cry.
Her laugh is loud and strong.
She's honest to a fault and she's amazing courageous.
Social butterfly to a T.
16 1/2. Don't forget the 1/2 mom.
Oh my heart cracks wide open with love, adoration and pride for that little girl.
My Rhain.

One has a heart of gold.
Socially, withdrawn..only a select few... and when you're in you're in forever.
Smart as a whip.
Laugh that will melt your icy black heart.
And an ear for listening, and giving advice...sure to cure what ails ya.
And my cup runneth over in awe for that little man.
18 now mom. Don't pry too much. Back up. Give little man some space.
My Sunny.

See.. somewhere along the way Rhiannon was nicknamed Rhain. And Jake was nicknamed Sunny. And it's such a paradox. Rhiannon is definitely the more sunshiny one of the two. And Jakes is definitely more dreary.
My Sunny and Rhain.

And then..there he is.
My "holy shit I think I nabbed the last good one"...
A man who stole my heart to put it back together again.
He revers me. And I him.
He thinks I'm adorable and beautiful.
He thinks I am an amazing writer and artist.
He believes in every single thing I say or do or set out to do.
He dropped straight from heaven.
My husband. My Adam.
And my heart bursts into flame whenever he's around.

I wish for every single human being on the planet to know this love.
I wish for every single human being that HAS this love remember they have it, hold it sacred, cherish it.


And that is my wish for 2012.
To hold that and those that I love sacred.cherished.remembered.

Full of Wish and Lion-Hearted.