Fall.
I did just that. I allowed myself to fall into Sacred Space this past month.
Answering questions regarding space for myself and allowing room to grow...and making it sacred.
Falling pushed way past my comfort zones and into terrain un-ventured.
I fell back into ways that came naturally, 2nd nature as it were.
And it was delicious and it was uncomfortable and it was scary and you guessed it, perfect.
Here's what I learned.
1. Say Yes
2. Show up
3. Work at being present the WHOLE time
Three relatively easy steps right?
Wrong.
Lets FALL into those Lion Hearts....
Saying yes- this means that you have to push past time, money and the importance of you creating sacred space. This means borrowing money, putting things on credit cards before the holiday. Taking vacation days that are so precious or more so sick days. Work will always be there. And the money that you are making to work should go towards sacred space, towards your growth.
Showing up- This means not backing out, backing down, giving in, making excuses good or bad...because we are all so very good at that yes. Obligations for the family will always be there. Your obligation to your family should be to take time for your growth and sacred space. Period.
This means getting on planes that you're afraid of, dealing with tight spaces, crowds, panic attacks, hustle bustle. This means keeping the YES alive.
Being Present- You've said yes. You've showed up. Now....can you stay present? I know you want to but are you letting your mind make that decision?
That's the fight.
Mind/heart Mind/heart back and forth back and forth. For me personally it tends to exhaust me...if I let it. I have this inner dialogue that I've discovered lately. "Yes yes mind, I hear you- it's not your turn, it's the hearts turn. Wait your turn".
I have learned in Sedona and then with this Sacred Space trip in Oregon that it's as easy as catching yourself in your head to just bring yourself back to the heart.
Of course it's easy to do in the beauty that is Oregon.
Reminders everywhere that this season is fleeting and there are these moments and colors that are so temporary... just like you Lion Heart.
What types of reminders can you put into this to bring you back to center?
The last night in Rhododendron it was a stormy one, and the lights on the property outside went out. We prepared our sacred space, lit every candle in the county, found christmas lights and strung them everywhere. Made a delicious meal and then danced to Tina Turner for hours.
It was a moment in time I will never ever forgot Lion Hearts.
My reflection dancing back at me in all the windows of the house, singing and dancing to the Fierce and Unapologetic Tina Turner.
"you better be good to me.... it's how it's GOTTA be now"
I sang at the top of my lungs and realized...that I was singing to myself.
I was dancing to myself.
I was allowing myself to create this space, allowing my growth, allowing my time, allowing allowing allowing.
To sing "bad" to dance "bad" to let it "all hang out" to giggle like a 5 year old to cry and let the tears come WITHOUT apology.
And I did it with the support of these two women and it was the most natural thing in the universe. To allow them to take care of me and visa versa.
Beautiful thing Lion Hearts when you allow.
Say yes.
Show up.
Stay Present.
:Morale of the story:
Sing More Tina Turner at the top of your lungs and dance without apology.
In fact....live your life without apology...okay Lion Heart?
Allow The Fall.
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| The Grotto of the Sorrowful Mother |
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| Oh Mother.... |
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| Sylvia & Kathleen: Resident Goddess' |
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| Wear your Crown Lion Hearts |
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| I love you two...thank you for everything |
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| View from my Room |
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| Sacred |
===== Other Life Stuffs=====
Some of you know that I have been dealing with a chronic infection on my right leg. Well in Oregon creating sacred space I broke out in 2 more infections. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis with vasculitis and pyoderma gangreosum. This is inflammation in my body causing bursted blood vessels in my foot and lower legs to form sores and they didn't know what it was for so long that they had become necrotic (flesh was dying). I am currently taking steroids to deal with the inflammation and blood work will be analyzed in the next week or so. There is comfort in finally KNOWING what's going on. There is of course all the other stuff that comes along with this that is scary, sad, disappointing. However... I have the support of both my families and all my friends and I feel confident that I will be able to live with this...and allow whatever is coming to just come.
Thank you for your love and support it means every single little thing to me Lion Hearts.
And here are more pictures from my very blessed life that I would love to share with all of you. I trust you had a very Thankful Thanksgiving. As we step into Christmas lets remember to Allow...and play Tina Turner whenever possible.
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| My beautiful sister Monique & Nephew B and the Paparazzi |
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| lots of BBQ's and bonfires! |
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| Where's your tool belt babe? Making my art table! |
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| Adam and Me |
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| This baby just walked into our office and I tried to eat her because she's perfect Miss K |
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| My co-worker Amanda I love you so much |
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| Filling in the Blanks |
It's a long journey coming around full circle to finally realize that our greatest responsibility, & purpose in life, is to take care of ourselves.to take full charge of nurturing our own soul,& body through which it expresses, experiences, & grows. And in that fullness of owning ourselves, fully being present to how we are creating our lives. Honestly & without judgement observing our thoughts, words, actions, emotions & realizing that these are the moments of our life that create more of the same. I realize how much sadness I have used to create a suit of armour which only serves to reflect more sadness when focused on that which I don't want (we all have our own personal armour)....creating only more of what is not wanted. And how comfortable the sorrow & discomfort can be because it is a habit that is familiar.... Ironically enough, it is a relationship of abuse with myself! And sometimes it's scary to dive into a life of joy for too long at a time because that is not as strong a habit. Its as if the belief is deep that "I don't deserve" the reward of joy until all my responsibilities have been taken care of...and life is a big responsibility. As I write this I see that somewhere along the line I taken on this belief without even realizing it, handed down from someone else's experiences & resulting pattern that I took on as my own. How wonderful to look at this revelation through the eyes of love & compassion, instead of judgement or criticism. This is what life is about, having opportunity within each moment to choose anew. To learn from the current moment and use it as a stepping stone to create the next.....with awareness....truly this is empowerment in wisdom, to embrace what is, instead of getting caught up in what is, & allowing awareness to be the simplicity that carries us in love & truth into our hearts, a soul filled life, one moment at a time, for in truth this moment is all that ever truly exists....my life is happening right now! How will I receive it, how will I respond & create more of....it truly ius a moment by moment experience, I hope I stay present & embrace it, & choose to participate actively. And when I don't, and I move through it numbly, that too is a choice albeit an unconscious one! But then I wake up and choose anew, & so on, & so on, until joy & love become the stronger life habit/experience.
ReplyDeleteApropos and beautiful, my friend. I'm so very happy for you. Thank you for sharing your blessings with us!
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