Towanda Tuesday: Women of the Past Series Anna Bilińska

After my "April Away" from Towanda Tuesday I thought I would kick off the first Tuesday of May with something different.

I've been studying amazing and somewhat unknown women artists of our past, and I wanted to share them here as resident Towanda's.

Anna Bilińska

Excerpt from Frances Borzello's: Seeing Ourselves Women's Self-Portraits

The Polish artist Anna Bilinska paints herself taking a break from her work. She is convincingly scruffy. She has not bothered to remove her apron, and, although her hair began the day pinned up, some tendrils have escaped. As she sits on the homely bentwood chair, she bends forward to stare at the spectator, a bunch of brushes held across her apron in one hand and her palette hanging down at the extremity of the other . . . This pose of Bilinksa’s had not been seen before. She has set herself down in front of the curtain which forms a background for the model. The combination of transitory pose and backcloth is an understated but witty way of telling the spectator that she has become—but only temporarily—the model not the artist.

I am so drawn to this portrait of this woman. The light and dark of this painting is so beautiful. The apron and the paint brushes, her mussed hair and the backdrop make this such a beautifully honest painting in a time where overly sweet and porcelain doll paintings were the rage. I am so in awe of women that would paint themselves as is in times when it was not popular to do so. No social media hashtags to join ranks with... no groups to join.. no causes...no trends...just pure desire & artistic license to paint as is. 

This is magnificent in so many ways.

 Hope she inspires you as she inspires me.

 Thanks for stopping by.

Just like the river

It's been a long time coming... but I believe my change has come

I have had Queen of Soul's bone crushing, soul soothing, heart wrenching voice in my head for over two months.
It's been twisting and turning in my body, making it's way through every stubborn cell that says
 ... It's too late.
Aretha Franklin's truth spills out when she steps to the microphone. There is no magic trick, no illusion, no sparkly distractions.
It's her. Her Truth. Her Microphone. Her Voice.
And she manages to tear me open with one perfect lyrical line and put me back together again the next.

See a change is coming. A change is here. I literally woke up in the middle of a conversation with my best friend and husband. We were having a serious discussion about what needs to change.
And I heard thunder rolling and lightning striking inside of my bones.
And I knew I'd never be the same.
See I know all the affirmations.
I sing and share and admire them.
They are nothing without action.

A change is coming. A change is here. Ohhhhh yes it is.

Aretha is teaching me something else. She's teaching me to take it low and slow. The the draw of her voice... like honey. No rush. It's not too late. You are where you need to be. Keep moving. Don't stop. There is no looking back because there is nothing there.
A change is coming. A change is here.

Here's some visuals of my life lately.

Pick up what I'm laying down

I'm in absolute awe of the little things in life such as what just simply sharing... can do to a persons heart.

How it can ground them, tether them to the moment and have them relishing in the human experience.

Lookie what a student shared with me in 21 Secrets 2013... isn't she beautiful!

Tracy Watson shares:

Absolutely love your work - so was inspired to have a go!  Very scared to publish this but here goes.  Would love any feedback Kristina on how I could have improved this.  Did not go for ears but diddly boppers (that's what we call them in the UK) instead!  Tracyx

Tracy Watson {Accept}ional Art 21 Secrets 2013 with Kitty O

And I am a grateful daughter of this universe I'll tell you. Blessed beyond measure...forgetful as I may be to this blessing at times. And then... a student shares with me that I have helped them surpass a sort of fear that would otherwise have left them stagnant or paralyzed to go forward and my heart just SPLITS wide open. Oh yeah... that's the good stuff... all that HEART stuff. I encourage you to find it in your day today. In your week this week. In your weekend this weekend. In your month this month...well.. you picking up what I'm laying down here?

Be good Lion Hearts! Be Good to YOU!

 { Oh hello you }

Been awhile and summer is here and there is so many exciting things that are coming...that have gone...that are still marinating in all their glorious juices!

21 Secrets is going so well you can still sign up for all the fun!

I have had some AMAZING feedback from you all that are CRAVING an {ACCEPT}ional life! I am so grateful for all my students that are incredibly LION HEARTED and have taken steps to {ACCEPT} themselves in AS IS condition! Bravisimo lion hearts.. you are so beautiful!

I have been asked to teach in another online workshop and I am incredibly EXCITED about this !! More details to come (insert me doing the cabbage patch kid and 80's Robot...oh yea)!

I have been approached to do a couple artist interviews as well and I am looking forward to delving in deep and getting to some core heart centered questions.. YUM!

Stay tuned creative hearts!

Personally it's been a blessed but rough couple months... my Rhain has graduation high school.. my Sunny turned 20 and I find myself on the verge of buying our first home and it just being me and my adorable, amazing husband. YIKES!  It's a scary, exciting feeling to think that I am only {37} and I still have so much ahead of me..that I can finally focus on .. {ME}.. (insert me with a blank stare). 

This absolutely terrifies me people. I am working on it ;)!

I have a newfound (lost and then found again) love affair with {POLAROIDS}... oh you have no idea what this does for my soul! 

With the help of

The Impossible Project

I am able to take these little photographs..these little snippets of my life and put them down in my journal. 

In the digi-insta-age this really quenches my thirst for old school film! 

Needless to say...

{{I am in heaven}}

Like I mentioned earlier we are house hunting.. and after years of wishing/plotting/planning/saving we are at the fun part.  

{The hunt} 

It's been WAY harder than I thought it would be. Houses come on the market and they get gobbled up so quickly your head spins. We've taken a break to go with a different Real Estate Agent (she's badass I love her) and get refinanced with a different lender and will be starting the hunt again come July.. 

{OH WISH ME LUCK CUPCAKES}

Meanwhile I am trying to not let that deter me from doing my work...

I hope you are embracing the Summer months and taking time for

 relaxation, poolside, lakeside, oceanside time!

Here some things I've been up to and some obsessions that I simply MUST share.. 'till next time!

{OBSESSION}

Tattoo's

Unicorns

GATSBY

Leggings

A Beautiful Mess IPHONE photo app

{MUSIC}

The Shins- Chutes too Narrow Album

{THIS SUMMER I SHALL}

Decide on my next Tattoo

Dye my hair RED again

Wear more dresses with more leggings

See Counting Crows with my Sister

House Hunt until I drop

Spend time in the water

Drink Margaritas

MORE: painting/blogging/polaroiding

{Some pictures from my life}

Audaciously Artsy... what I want outta 2013

Hello yous !
I've been trying to avoid the ol' year in review blog post. Trying not to be cliche... trying to keep quiet a bit..reflect, review, revise, relive.
A week and a half into this new year it's been an emotional one. Personally things are wonderful, goals I've made are coming to fruition, my children are happy and doing well.. my husband is a saint...and my love of mixed media is something I'll be able to share with hundreds in a few short months with
21 secrets 2013 launching.

Here's what I want outta 2013.

I want more moments. Moments where I am not overwhelmed with the tasks of the day, but overwhelmed by a sensory overload. Touch, smell, taste, hear. I want more moments to just sit on my tongue and linger so I can savor every last tid bit morsel.
I want more lingering. More loitering. More meandering. More lollygagging.
More... time to just be and let be. To settle into my skin. Fat, thin.. sagging... firm doesn't matter.
Time to marinate in gratitude. Let it permeate through all things... let my thankfulness for this life just ooze off of me like warm icing on a big cinnamon roll (yum).
More permission to do, feel, say what my heart scratch that what my LION HEART says it wants.
Gettin' down to the nitty gritty. More time to dance, fearless, uninhibited, wildly free.

:WORD OF THE YEAR: 

  Audacious lively; unrestrained; uninhibited:

Oh yeah. Last year was LionHeart so I am thinking this is along the same lines... and I loved loved loved last years word... it seriously brought my back to it so many times over the course of the year...where I had to tap into that word and use it to propel me through.

This year is no exception. And I take with me last years word as well.

Audaciously Lion Hearted.

Share with me on facebook Hand Over Heart Studios fan page would ya? What are gettin' outta 2013?

Join me for 21 Secrets you can sign up now it's open...go! I'll wait..... didja go yet?

21 artists...months and months of artist fun, tempting you, techniquing you, loving you, supporting you? What's not to love my LionHearts? GO!  See you over there!!! I'll be teaching you ((psst click on the link)

{ACCEPT}ional art. The art of Accepting...you. Accepting all of you. Where you are right now. In as is condition. Plus there is a giveaway involved.. couple more days left on that so jump on it :) I'll be sweetening the pot with some art books....oooo secrets OUT!

And there is always room for: 

I stand in awe at the light my life has.  And I am aware of how very blessed I am to have another year for {ACCEPT}ional opportunities to be inspired. 

Heart that matters most. 

Much love Lion Hearts!

And oh what a day it was....  

Beautiful Ojai trip yesterday, the sun was shinning, the water was clear. I made my way down the 101 California Coast with anticipation in my heart, and a belly full of nerves.
Painting. With others. Whom I don't know. Painting from The Source. What an adventure.
I left early, hoping to get a jump on the day, to be able to have a moment to ground my self before entering the studio. However life happened, I got a tummy ache, I took a wrong turn. I was not "late" but I was not "early" as I wanted... I like to be early. I like to watch others walk in, not the other way around.
I got there, right at 10:00. Everyone else was there but me. Instant panic. Instant discomfort. Instant urge to flee. I was greeted by a small woman with a beautiful accented voice who directed me to the room to place my things. I then made my way back into the Studio/Living Room of Aviva Gold, my "mid-wife" for the day. What a gorgeous human being. The living room was chock full of affirmations everywhere I looked. STAY ON YOUR EDGE. STAY IN THE PROCESS.
We were all there. We were all unsure, we were all a bit awkward, but we were all there for the same thing.... To Paint. To Heal. To faciliate. To Witness.

The day went quickly, I felt waves and waves of emotion, as I usually do in a group setting, picking up on others emotions, insecurities, anger, discomfort.
I went through waves of nausea, headache, fatigue and severe bladder and lower back aches.
I stayed with the process, stepping back every so often to look at my painting, to listen to her...to understand her needs, her desires, her Lion Heart.
I painted an owl woman, a bird, flowers, sky, and a huge face with blood dripping from her lips..it was scary, it disturbed me a bit...but I felt at ease. I felt a deep connection to the imagery. I fell in love with her. I stayed on MY EDGE, by pushing through the embodiment of the painting, a ritual type of practice that yields the paintings energy through your body. It was prophetic. It was terrifying. It was sacred. It was necessary.
I left feeling a sense of gratitude. I left with a bigger sense of self. I left with new air in my lungs.
I left without my painting.

ouch.

And as I drove away the headache that I no longer endured hit my like a ton truck. Full fledge migraine headache with the dry heaves. I had to pull over 4 times on the freeway, to rest...to cry....to close my eyes from the pain. I had to eventually call my husband to come and get me...as I could not drive any longer. Half way through this horrible trip home I realized I had left her...and I immediately thought...THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SICK!
It's Okay...I left it for a reason. I left it because I need to return to Ojai...I need to stay on my edge. I will see her again, and when I do it will be a lovely reunion. Together again in Beautiful Sacred Ojai with Aviva again as my mid-wife.

Thank you to all who witnessed my breakthroughs, my triumphs and for seeing Me. As Me.Lion Hearts Stay on your Edge. Stay in the Process. Find your Sacred Ojai!!

And she said.. "Ditto".

Taking a break in the studio from the 3 paintings I am currently trying to finish.
I have creative attention deficit disorder.  Thank The Stars for Mixed Media !
I started a clay doll.

This is Ditto. I made her.

She wasn't turning out so good.
I added paper clay.
I took away.
I molded.
I sculpted.
I thought about trashing her.
Couldn't do it.
Tried to do limbs.
Couldn't do that either.

Then I surrendered and remembered that she was just a paper clay doll... FOR ME.
Oh. Breathing room. Deep breath, that's nice.

I tore off her limbs.
I made her base thick & sturdy.
And then, before I knew what was happening in between dipping fingers into the water, grabbing a clump of paper clay and molding...

she  sprouted W I N G S.

Glorious funky, clumpy, lumpy, bumpy haphazard, imperfect, small wings.
I immediately fell in love with her.
And of course, what naturally came next...

I gave her a Lion H E A R T.

I've captured her, in the moment of growing her wings.
And as I painted her tonight, first giving her a coat of Gesso, I poured out love for her, in her imperfect state, and I told her not to compare herself to others, for she's one of a kind, never to be duplicated.
I told her to see, look, feel, fly with her Lion Heart.

And she said, "Ditto".

How are you taking care of your lumpy, bumpy, imperfect parts today? This minute? This Hour? This Day? This Week? This Year?

Come on Lion Heart, it's time for some {ACCEPT}tional self care....!

TRUST F A L L .....

I am in love.

Orginal Art work by Kitty Oppegard: FOR SALE @ ETSY SHOPPE 

I have fallen deeply, beautifully, sacredly in love.
Know what with?
My Heart and all its inglorious glory.
My heart that never fails me, in keeping blood pumping through this {ACCEPT}tional body (in AS IS condition) and in Matters of the Heart... mmmm myyyy speciality.

This Fall/Equinox/Mabon I am incredibly in love with the colors,sights, smells, sounds of this amazing season. It yields a sense of connectedness within me. I can feel it weaving around my heart urging me to look inwards, reflect and review. It whispers to FALL into love with what you are, what you have, what you've failed at, what you've accomplished. It echos the childhood laughter in me, the reckless abandon in me, the Lion Heart that pulses true.

TRUST FALL.

Trust fall right into my life, right into my heart, right into the core of what makes me... ME.
And as I fall there are the seeds of my existence.
God, earth, wind, fire, air, paint in my hair.... aching in my bones and in my chest...and it's all alright.. it's all the stuff, the juicy stuff of this life. It's all ugly, sad and beautiful and STARK raving mad!
I'm falling right into it. I am falling right into L O V E with my life.

I invite you to your own trust fall, right into your sacred heart, right into your LION HEART.

DID IT RESONATE? WONT YOU GIVE ME A FACEBOOK LIKE :)

You sure must be strong...

Love such a simple thing that we do... with nothing to prove....
The Shins- Simple Song 

if you haven't heard it. Go. Listen to it. Let it marinate. Listen to it in a loop.
It does the soul good. Seriously. Go.
You're welcome.

This week plagued with 2 major migraines. Not fun. Hubby working out of town. Not fun.
Art journaling. Fun. I think I am .. dare I say.. finding my palette. Finding my "style" my "nitch".
Or not. I dunnow. Why do we have to label things. It's just a necessity really isn't it? To fit it all into organized and neat and easy identifiable containers.

I miss. ALl the time just miss.
I miss my kids being little.
I miss my son walking down the hallway and saying in his funny voice "Hey Mob"...
I miss my daughters crooked little ear and the way she'd yell for me when she was hungry... her fragile little body, constantly in my arms.. she was like an appendage.
Severed.
It's something I am really struggling with.
Trying not to fill the void with food. That was hard to type. I almost wanted to hit the backspace but decided I better leave it.

I have no idea what I will do when Rhiannon moves out.
The thought just crushes me, and leaves me with an icy cold feeling in my chest.
Deep breath. One thing at a time Kitty. Be nice to yourself. Don't overwhelm yourself. Be kind.

Are you being kind to yourself where you are?
WIth the upmost care and attention, love and kid gloves?
I recommend it.
It's highly underrated.

"Don't go thinking you gotta be tuff and play like a stone.. could be that there's nothing else in our lives so critical..as this little home"....
The Shins. Simple Song.
go and have a listen.
and be good to yourself.
right now.
wherever you are.